Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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