I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
