Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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