I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
