You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
