no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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