I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
one might say we're banned from that church
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We need to get me chipped asap
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
