the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just cut my nipple shaving
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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