Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
