you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
