Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize