I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
