So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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