I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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