I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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