He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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