every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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