My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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