Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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