So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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