"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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