Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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