Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
