Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
