Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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