Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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