As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
