You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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