Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
