i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
