Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Randomize