The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
