This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
