i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize