so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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