I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
