Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
