I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
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