FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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