my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
