no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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