Whod you bang
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
