that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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