I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
