I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
