still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Drunk is not a location!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
