I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
