i would punch a child for taco bell
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
