So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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