I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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