Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize