oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
