belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
