Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize