Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize