Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
