idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
