What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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