So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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