Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
