so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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