Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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