Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
