also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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