U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
