So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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