i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
